Excuse me.

Top ten excuses I have used to get out of work:

10- "I have to go shoot my porn video now".

9-"My brother in law is laying on my porch roof with a broken ankle".

8-"I have a job interview I gotta sober up for."

7- "My alien baby is giving me the vapors."

6-"I can't tell you what happened this weekend. But I gotta be in court on Thursday."

5-"I broke my eye glasses and have to wait for a ride in to the optometrist. His office is in Green Bay,"

4-"Today is my kids concert. I am the one who video records it for all the poor parents who miss their children's concerts. I gotta leave early cuse I do not know how to run the camcorder."

3- "The bar down the road is having happy hour prices all day long. I can fill my purse with cheap chicken wings and not rely on the pittance you pay me for showing up here. "

2- "I left 'Dude looks like a lady' on repeated when I left the house. I don't want my cat suffering gender confusion.

1-"Zombies took over my town. You are welcome to barricade yourself in my house with me now, or this is good bye."